Intention + Attention = Change
“Where attention goes, energy flows” - James Redfield
“Anything above zero, daily, compounds” - Sahill Bloom
The key to creating change in our lives isn’t grand, sweeping efforts—it’s in the small, daily deposits we make toward what truly matters.
The things we focus on, even in tiny amounts, compound over time to shape our reality. This applies to our self-care, our relationships, our work, and even our sense of fulfillment. The challenge is learning to direct our attention with intention.
Attention is our most valuable resource.
Yet most of our days are spent on the treadmill of daily life, feeling like we’re moving and doing a million different things but not actually progressing towards that reality we daydream about.
We can all relate to having an idea that occurs to us regularly about something they want to do, be or change.
But it’s often a fleeting thought, knocked to the side by a more pressing matter that isn’t really important, but feels urgent.
The Important/Urgent Matrix is a useful framework for work and maybe even more powerful for life.
Quadrant 1 - The home of the mile long to do list. The endless tasks we all have as parents, employees, students, etc… It feels good to cross things off your list, but we conflate that action for meaningful progress.
Quad 3 - The land of texting and email. The steady stream of communication that hijacks our attention and prevents us from focusing. Research has illustrated that after even a brief interruption or switching our attention, it takes 23 minutes to regain the same level of focus on the original task. Notifications are our cognitive enemy!
Quad 4 - The insidious time sucking land of social media. How many times have you gone to a social platform meaning to do one thing then realizing minutes later you forget why you even came there. They are designed to do just that!
Quad 2. Where we think, plan and act on the most important things in our life. We spend so much time reacting in the other 3 quadrants that we rarely pause to focus on what actually moves our lives forward.
The result? Our most meaningful goals, our relationships, and even our well-being fall into neglect.
The great paradox is that what feels ‘urgent’ is often inconsequential, while what feels ‘optional’ is actually what matters most.
The good news is with awareness of how we spend our time and attention, the most valuable currency in our lives, we can create intention to shift that balance.
Daily Deposits
You’re likely familiar with the concept of compound financial interest. How we make exponential gains on even modest investments over long periods of time due to the interest and principal continuing to grow and compound.
The same holds true for making change in our lives and progress on the things that matter to us. Small daily actions can lead to big changes.
It’s a matter of consistency.
Self Care
Fundamental to my belief in personal growth is finding time to be still. The healthy brain platter concept refers to it as “Time In.”
To let your mind settle, to focus on your breath and calm the system.
Mental fitness, like physical fitness, comes from small, consistent actions. Even a few minutes of stillness daily can rewire your mind for clarity and focus.
Don’t overcomplicate it—think of it as plugging your brain in for a quick recharge. Just like a phone at 1% battery, even a little power makes a difference.
Start with one minute a day. Build from there.
It won’t feel like much is happening on any given day, but over time, you’re building the muscle and the practice.
I have been practicing a form of daily mindfulness for 12 years. I have never had an out of body experience, or floated among the stars, that’s not what I’m chasing.
But I have built mental strength that creates an awareness of how my thoughts are working for and against me that I leverage everyday.
Relationships
Dr John Gottman is an expert on relationship and marriage health. He has demonstrated the ability to predict with 90% accuracy which couples will divorce within three years after being observed for just a few minutes.
Fundamental to his key to relationship health are daily acts of connection. Small acts of kindness and connection, what he terms “turning towards.”
These small acts are so easy to offer and even easier to forget. We get so busy in our routines and demands of raising kids and family life, we forget to water our relationship plants.
Terry Real, a brilliant relational therapist, says every relationship is a constant cycle of harmony, disharmony and repair. Think of disharmony as a withdrawal. Some are bigger than others.
If you aren't building up a reserve of positive daily connection, your relationship can go into overdraft. Spend too long in overdraft and eventually relationships can go bankrupt.
If you’re in a relationship, think about what ‘deposits’ you can make today. What’s one small, thoughtful action that would make your partner feel seen? A text? A hug? A kind word? The best investments in love aren’t grand gestures—they’re the consistent, small moments of connection.
Developing your talent
We all have a talent and a gift to offer the world. The miracle of our existence is not intended to be squandered by chasing security, sensation and comfort.
Even, perhaps especially, if there is no financial incentive, developing the skills we are inherently born with, is one of the surest ways to a life of fulfillment.
One reason we brush these thoughts aside, even as they consistently tug at us, is they seem impossibly far away.
The moment we think about pursuing something meaningful, our brain signals stress—not because it’s impossible, but because it’s uncertain. This triggers a subtle fight-or-flight response, often leading us to abandon ideas before we even start.
The solution? Lower the bar. Make progress small enough that it feels effortless, and let time do the rest.
The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step.
We overestimate how much we can develop in one year. Growth and mastery aren’t linear, they are exponential.
We get frustrated when we go through periods of being stuck and feeling like we aren’t making progress. We give up before we make the breakthrough.
We vastly underestimate the compounding effect of this process over five or ten years.
Set the intention and direct your attention to that act, for small periods of time consistently across days, weeks, months and years.
If we love the act of what we’re doing, it’s easier to enjoy the process and detach from the outcome. Follow your bliss for no reason other than your enjoyment of doing it and watch the magic unfold.
Why this works
Neurons that fire together wire together. Every daily habit you currently have is a result of repetition that has created well worn neural pathways.
The new pathways you are creating start off like tenuous, thin frayed bits of rope. But over time, with consistent, focused attention in any of these areas of your life, the neural connections strengthen. They braid together tighter and turn into unbreakable steel rope.
The behaviors start to become an automatic part of your life that create true and lasting fulfillment.
The inherent paradox in this process is that we need to let go of the need for assured success of that achieved future state and simply focus on the joy of daily practice. If you build it, they will come!
Make it simple. If you double a penny every day for 30 days. You end up with over $5MM (do the math.)
Complexity breaks down. Simplicity compounds. (H/T Shane Parrish)
I have now lived the experience that the most impactful changes in my life have not come from massive effort. It’s where and how I show up daily that define who I am and help me reimagine what I am capable of.
The three examples above are places where I have set the intention, focused my attention and seen the change happen dramatically over time.
What is an important but not urgent place in your life that you might want to apply this formula?
-Coach Kris
P.S. I’ve been married for 18 years. There isn’t a simpler (but definitely not easy) formula for success than this concept of the emotional bank account.
