Shine Your Light

“Not knowing how to do something is a terrible reason not to try” - Jeff Tweedy in How to Write One Song

‘We’re all a little supspect of our own talent” - Ethan Hawke

There’s a wonderful concept in Buddhism known as Beginner’s Mind — approaching life, learning, or any situation with an attitude of openness, curiosity, and freedom from preconceptions.

Typically, this relates to being open to a new way of thinking about something. Choosing curiosity over certainty. Letting go of our ego’s attachment to expertise and being willing to reexamine something from a fresh perspective.

Another interesting thread to pull here relates to trying something new, something many of us consider at the start of a new year. To embrace being bad at something simply because a voice inside us thinks we should try.

It’s a growth mindset that embraces imperfection and lets go of attachment to the outcome, focusing instead on the joy of learning and growing.

It could be cooking, dancing, needlepoint, painting, learning Mandarin — ANYTHING you think you’d enjoy but never quite get to because, well, who has the time? And really, what’s the point?

The point is we’re alive! Life begins outside your comfort zone.

And it’s our birthright to learn, create, and express ourselves. We all have a light that shines within us. We are all talented, original, and have something to contribute to the world. That’s why we’re here.

Alan Watts, who I count as a spiritual hero, says that as we age, we start to think of everything in terms of survival and profit. We cease to see the magic in the world, the way children do.

How grim — and how true. Especially for my fellow parents and second-half-of-lifers. The comfort of our routines and the weight of our responsibilities make us put away those childish things. We let the dreams we once had gather dust on the shelf.

But don’t we all have a quiet little voice inside that occasionally tugs at us? Whispering that we should pursue that thing we love. The thing we think about doing — and might even be good at.

I’ve heard that whisper for most of my adult life about writing. But no sooner would I hear that whisper than a judge’s voice would boom through a megaphone in my head:

“YOU?! WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE ABOUT THAT PEOPLE WOULD CARE ABOUT? HOW WOULD YOU MAKE ANY MONEY FROM THAT? YOU DON’T HAVE TIME, AND YOU AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH TO DO THAT!”

And I’d quickly agree. It was easy to come up with plenty of reasons to believe that voice.

I’ve since learned that it’s the voice of fear — fear of being judged, of not being good enough. Fear of wasting my time doing something that might never be valued by anyone else.

Well, here I am, writing and sharing now with anyone who cares to listen. So, what changed?

For one, I’ve embraced discomfort and learned to recognize that the Judge’s voice isn’t the real me. At least once or twice a week lately, that voice screams:

“YOU’VE GONE MAD! YOU’RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS STUFF IN A PLACE ANYONE CAN SEE?! JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”

I’ll feel my stomach turn for a moment, then take a breath and say, “Hey, thanks, Judge. I see you. I know you’re trying to protect me, but don’t worry. It doesn’t really matter what anyone thinks. I’m doing this for me.”

What strengthens my resolve is feeling connected to something much bigger than myself. As Alan Watts says:

“What waves are to the ocean, people are to the universe.”

We are an inseparable part of the magic and mystery of creation. The endless creative power of the universe is flowing through all of us at every moment.

The universe is always expanding, and so must we if we’re to fulfill our end of the bargain for this miracle of being here. If not, we stagnate and contract.

In this way, having the courage to start becomes a spiritual endeavor. It becomes a bridge to your soul.

And what of those people who judge us? Let them! Thank them for revealing themselves. What does their opinion matter? Those are people who live in their own fear and self-judgment.

Have compassion for them — and show them what courage looks like. By shining our own lights, we give others permission to shine theirs.

There is liberation in this way of being. I have felt a sense of freedom and renewal that is hard to believe exists at age 48. It’s hard to believe because I bought into the cultural narrative about “getting older” for a long time.

Not anymore. Every day of this life is a gift to be grateful for, if we can just break free from ingrained patterns of thinking and being, and find the courage to start.

It may be hard to believe, but start something new and you’ll see. Challenge yourself to suck at something for a little while. Let go of the fear of judgment and embrace that discomfort.

In the words of Joseph Campbell “Follow your bliss!

-Kris 

P.S. Or in the words of Ethan Hawke in this beautiful message on creativity “Play the fool!”

P.S.S. - The message of the book If You Want to Write inspired me big time on this journey!