Your Brain on Change

“Nothing changes until you do” - Dennis Doherty

January feels like a blank page—a time to start something new or let go of something old. It’s a temporal marker that helps motivate us to change. But why is lasting change so hard?

The answer to that question, like everything related to human behavior, lies in how our brains are wired.

Neuroplasticity and Habits

Our brains have 86 billion neurons, each capable of connecting up to 10,000 others. That creates more than one quadrillion connections—an incomprehensible number that grows exponentially when you consider all the potential pathways among them.

Here’s the incredible part: those connections aren’t static. The brain constantly rewires itself through a process called neuroplasticity. Every time you learn something new, form a habit, or change your thinking pattern, you’re creating new neural pathways.

Neurons that fire together, wire together. The more you repeat a behavior, the stronger that pathway becomes, making it automatic.

When it comes to habits, with intention, we can rearchitect these pathways. 

But it’s not easy. 

Our brains are designed to be efficient—relying on automatic patterns to save mental energy. Interrupting those automatic patterns requires effort, which is why breaking ingrained habits can feel exhausting.

This helps explain why so many people who start Dry January give up before the month is over. It’s hard to override the automatic connection between fun and alcohol.

Fun and Sobriety… in Las Vegas?!

Every year, my work calendar kicks off with a trip to Las Vegas for the Consumer Electronics Show (CES). I work in the media and advertising industry, one of the most social—and boozy—industries around.

Vegas puts that into overdrive.

Pair the brain science we talked about above with the social pressure and hyper-stimulation of Sin City, and it’s hard to believe anyone’s Dry January attempt could survive.

But for the second year in a row, I had an amazing time without a drop of alcohol. For the first time, I wasn’t “California sober.” I was fully present.

I had rich and meaningful conversations with colleagues, clients and strangers.

And here’s the key: I didn’t miss the alcohol or any “buzz” at all.

Why? Because I wasn’t thinking about what I was missing. I was simply enjoying being in the moment, engaged with the people around me.

And I was sober. “Sober” has a heavy connotation—serious, sensible, solemn.

Doesn’t sound like much fun! And dammit I love to have fun!

Sobriety needs a rebrand.

Sobriety Presence

Who Has More Fun Than Anyone You Know? Kids.

Think about it—kids don’t need alcohol, substances, or even a plan to have fun. They thrive in the moment, driven by curiosity, imagination, and play.

Remember being a kid? Everything felt exciting because you were fully present. You weren’t thinking about the past or worrying about the future. You were just there—laughing, playing, exploring.

If you have kids in your life, take a moment to watch them today. Notice how they find joy in simple things, completely immersed in the experience. That’s presence in action.

Somewhere along the way, we lose that natural ability to stay present. We burden ourselves with regrets about the past or anxieties about the future.

We become “adults” and somewhere along the way we accept that alcohol is synonymous with fun and being social.

None of this is about passing judgement on those who choose to drink (i.e. 99% of all the awesome people I know and love.)

It’s an example of how a habit becomes automatic and hard to break. Even when we begin to lament the side effects (especially as those hangovers take on a new intensity in our 40’s!).

More to the point, it’s about how our minds work in relation to ingrained habits and why Dry January can feel like such a drag!

Change Is a Process

The key to lasting change is awareness. Simply noticing that your brain is stuck in a loop—thinking about what you’re missing or worrying about a future scenario—can help you break free.

This is the practice of mindfulness: Paying attention to what you’re paying attention to. That’s it.

For example, when your mind starts imagining future events—“I’ll never have fun at that party without a drink”—pause. Notice that you’re not at the party yet. You’re actually just standing in the shower, letting your mind run wild.

This is called simulation. Something our brains do constantly! This is why becoming present can be so hard. It takes intention and energy.

But each time you do, you start to build new neural connections.

We can retrain our minds and create new pathways at any point in life. Whether it’s pausing/quitting alcohol, breaking a habit, or building a new one, change is always possible.

But it’s a process. It takes resolve, patience, and, often, support. The brain’s automatic patterns are strong but you are stronger!

I’ve learned this firsthand.

In 2016, I went a full year without alcohol. I did it with willpower (and THC). I did it on my own.

I made it a year, patted myself on the back—and went right back to drinking.

This time, it’s different.

It’s been over 18 months without alcohol, and more recently, I’ve been fully present. I like to say I “flipped a switch” in my mind with alcohol. What I mean is that I’ve successfully created new pathways in my brain and decommissioned the old ones.

I didn’t do it alone. My coach Dennis said that to me in our first conversation.

Working with my Dennis helped me understand how my subconscious mind was driving a behavior I knew wasn’t serving me. In fact, it actively worked in direct opposition to my life’s goals.

I leveraged an experience of adversity to help me became conscious of a pattern that had been hidden in my subconscious . It was a lightbulb moment that felt like the dawning of a new day.

And here’s the thing—I didn’t start working with a coach to stop drinking.

I started because I had a nagging feeling I wasn’t living up to my potential, despite the outward trappings of “success.”

I knew I was capable of more and wanted to better understand myself.

This journey led to some profound realizations about my mind—and my life.

I realized that joy, fun, and fulfillment aren’t things outside of me. They were already within me. I needed to clear the pathways to access them.

I’ve never had more fun in my life. And yeah, it’s looks different than the fun I used to have. But it has been rewarding in a way I didn’t know was possible.

So whether it’s dry January or any other habit you feel stuck with today, know that you have the power to get unstuck!

-Coach Kris

P.S. For anyone looking for inspiration on their Dry January or more prolonged changed, this conversation with the founder of “One Year No Beer” will help spark some of those potential pathways!