Get Small
Sunrise over the Caribbean.
“When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence. That petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality” - Thoreau
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” – Lao Tzu
Ahh Spring Break!
What could be more relaxing than seven lazy days with the family in the sun and surf in Mexico?
But by the time the tension of real life begins to melt, the shadow of the return already looms over the remaining days.
This week gave me a chance to observe that, even in paradise, laying down the mental load we carry is easier said than done.
And how we effortlessly carry our need to control from one place to another.
How we can be surrounded by natural beauty yet never penetrate the surface of it.
This week, I rediscovered the restorative power of connecting more deeply to the abundance of nature and the energy all around us.
And I’m reminded that we don't need a plane or a passport to slow down, just awareness and intention.
The Two Arrows
The Buddhist metaphor of the two arrows reveals how our mind’s incessant pursuit adds weight to the load we carry.
Life shoots the first arrow at us. Disappointment, difficulty, illness and loss are the inevitable part of being human.
The second arrow is how we respond to that first arrow. It’s self-inflicted: emotional reactivity, judgment, rumination, resistance.
Daily existence in the modern world is full of minor painful nicks and scratches from those first arrows.
But we cause our own suffering by plunging a second arrow even deeper beneath those surface wounds.
And we do so without thinking about it. Our emotions don’t ask for permission.
Archery on Vacation
Even on vacation, the arrows fly.
My teenage daughters acting out the stereotype. Gnawing aggravations over unmet expectations from the resort club we joined during COVID. Every pool chair draped with a towel yet unattended by 8 a.m. The excursion we’re excited to take is booked full. etc…
All minor annoyances in the grand scheme of things, for sure. That’s the point. Life is filled with them and they are never in our control.
But each caused the second arrow to fly and keep my monkey mind yammering and the mental tension in place.
Without the buffer of THC or a drink—my old standbys for relaxing—I was a bit raw.
This was my first vacation without any substance to help me relax. I knew I was in for some mental weight lifting.
I was up for the challenge but brought some friends with me.
Widen the Aperture
Arthur Brooks (Harvard professor and social scientist) and Mark Coleman (meditation teacher and nature guide) spotted me on those heavy reps.
Arthur Brooks once said in a podcast with Tim Ferriss: “Get small.” His advice was about perspective—about how awe, transcendence, and a connection to something bigger can quiet the storm inside.
That guidance has stayed with me. And though I reminded myself of it, I was struggling to lift the weight those first few days.
As the sun was setting on our third day, l opened Awake in the Wild by Mark Coleman.
I landed on a chapter called “Dissolving into the Sky,” and followed his meditation.
I relaxed my gaze and simply observed the vast expanse above me. Each thought that surfaced, I imagined as a cloud. I didn’t judge it or analyze it—just watched it pass.
Something shifted.
My sense of self softened. My nervous system settled. I felt calm. Present. And when my daughter called me for dinner, I re-entered the moment with more lightness and ease.
Dinner that night was one of the most enjoyable meals I’ve ever had. The tone of the entire trip shifted from that point forward.
Carrying it with Me
That one moment of presence gave me access to a more peaceful rhythm.
I watched the sunrise over the Caribbean each day and practiced that same meditation. I felt the energy of my body connected to the light, water and sky.
Each of those remaining days was filled with the deep restoration of spirit we crave from our vacations.
I experienced the sentiment of the the Spanish proverb “How beautiful it is to do nothing and the rest afterwards”
Then, I returned to work Friday and took a couple first arrows right to the gut.
But I carried that sense of spacious ease and connection with me. While I felt the pain, I wasn’t compelled to get stuck in judgement, blame, etc…
It was also one day of work.
The challenge is cultivating the ability to access this place of calm response vs emotional reaction when we aren’t a day removed from beach sunrises.
It’s a lifelong practice. We will continue to be severed from the present by our incessant thoughts and complete self absorption.
The key is noticing when we’re lost—and gently shifting, even for a minute, to recalibrate.
That’s how we strengthen the neural pathways and build our mental strength over time.
The goal isn’t perfection. Simply progress.
Nature always offers us a path back. Not through escape, but through presence.
The sky is always above you. Your breath is always within you.
Here are a few gentle ways I’ve learned to “get small” and reconnect in the middle of real life:
Try 4-7-8 breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Just a few rounds can calm your nervous system.
Look up: Pause and spend as little as one minute looking at the sky. Watch the clouds. See each of your thoughts arise and release them into the sky.
Practice noticing: Birds, leaves, shadows, wind—any of it can bring you back to the now. Listen for the sound farthest away from you for ten seconds and see how your energy shifts.
Find nature wherever you can—and remember: you are one infinitesimally small part of a vast, interconnected web of life.
-Coach Kris
PS. The most beautful and profound expression of getting small I’ve ever encountered is Carl Sagan’s Pal Blue dot. It soothes the soul every time.
P.S.S. Coleman’s Book Awake in the Wild is a marvelous vacation traveling companion. It’s in my bag whenever I travel.
This conversation with Arthur Brooks is enlightening on multiple levels. He also has his own podcast, writes for the Atlantic and of course can be followed on social.
